When I heard that you were in crisis I instantly felt a burden to pray. This burden remains. There have been quite a few early mornings when I’ve been awakened with an understanding that God is watching over you and that He knows exactly what you need and that He longs to give it to you. I talk to Him about those things. I understand what it feels like to struggle to the point of nearly losing all hope. God pulled me back from the brink of collapse. His love would not let me go. His love for you is no different.
I am absolutely sure that God’s love is brooding over you just as His love brooded over the face of the Earth when He was about to shape it into something incredibly beautiful. He couldn’t leave the Earth without form and void. He is so creative and powerful and He wants to make and sculpt and transform every part of the universe into exactly what He knows would be its very best outcome. Our souls are no exception. Sister, God has a “best outcome” for your soul and for mine. Can we believe upon Him to the point that we will cast our entire being upon Him in the trust that He is willing and able to transform us according to the renewing of our minds? Can we risk it all to let Him conform us to the image of His dear Son?
One phenomena I have observed in my own life is that reconciliation is a process with many layers. People getting divorced often claim their reason for filing as “irreconcilable differences” between the spouses. It happens in human relationships. It happens between us and God sometimes. Sometimes a relationship breaks so badly that only a miracle can repair it. Not only a miracle is needed but also a willingness in the heart to allow repair to happen. Honestly, I have never seen a situation in which two willing parties could not find a way to reconcile with one another.
We know that God is willing to be reconciled to each and every human. He sent His Son to die a horrible death on the cross in order to make a way for us to be justified and atoned for and covered with the very righteousness of Christ. If we are willing to return to oneness with God, it can and will happen! I’ve seen this in my own life! Another thing I’ve noticed is that when I consent to dwell in the very center of God’s will for me, I find that I suddenly feel drawn to other people who consent to dwell there too! Interesting! Really, our relationships in the body of Christ can be diagnosed very simply by taking inventory of our relationship with God. The way we feel about Him is honestly the way we feel about anyone who has His Spirit living inside of them. The Book of 1 John, as you know, talks about this in much detail. That Epistle is like a mirror we can look into and see what is really happening inside of us! I thank God for this!
I’ve come to this conclusion many times in my life – if God is my #1 priority and my first love above all else and I have a clear conscience and a desire to obey His Word, then anything that comes my way is doable! I can see my place and my function in His body and I can live in peace with my brothers and sisters who are on the same road I am on. When other things begin to usurp God’s #1 place in my heart, then problems with His people suddenly spring up everywhere! Slowly but surely, I’m learning to measure everything in my life by where God ranks in my list of priorities!
Grace and peace to you,